A breathless world quickens its pulse due to a lack of oxygen from not breathing properly, a lack of exercise, poor diet and circulation plus excitement galore. It seems all people of all nations want to know the whereabouts of the mysterious magical Greek fishing cap owned by a deposed Nigerian prince but recently bought for $50 billion (plus a few extra millions for shipping and handling) by notorious Wall Street flim flam man Bernard “Give Me All Your Money for Two Fistfuls of Bupkes” Madoff.

Where's the cap that makes its wearer as cool as Fonzie? Huh? Where?

Where's the cap that makes its wearer as cool as Fonzie? Huh? Where is it?

    Ex-president George W. Bush in Dallas is said to be anxiously awaiting delivery of this Greek fishing cap. Actor Henry Winkler in Hollywood is hoping for a surprise delivery of the same. Winkler’s been seen striking a Fonzie pose with his famous right thumb extended in the air, but without the Greek fishing cap, he is incapable of the legendary audible expression of Arthur Fonzarelli’s unique brand of cool. Pity, that.

    No one is sure if the cap has been shipped from Nigeria or not, and if it has, where it might be destined for delivery. The Nigerian Prince’s attorney, Amir “Skip” Mahdi, has disappeared with Madoff’s payments. Mahdi was last seen driving a forklift loaded with pallets of $1,000 bills and laughing uncontrollably at something or other. A joke he’d heard, perhaps?

    Meanwhile, a titillated world eagerly checks its mailbox (while giggling at the word ‘titillated’ because the world is quite immature). The stakes are high and the payout will be huge. Soon, one lucky individual could be sporting the magical Greek fishing cap and projecting coolness like penguins being shot from one of those t-shirt cannons you see at sporting events.

     The world is left to wonder if perhaps this Madoff Fonzie scheme hasn’t jumped the shark. Time will tell and tell well what time will tell when the story is told in all due time.