No more getting 'whacked on the goof!'

No mo' gettin' whacked-out on the goof!

    You hear? John Mayer’s giving up the pot. No lie, seriously– I mean he Twittered it and everything so it’s like got2B true, right?

    I’ll bet the break-up with Jen was a wake up call for J-Man cuz I heard she was all P-Yode cuz he had time to smoke herb and Twitter his fans on his European tour  but no time to call his girlie girl, and you know how Jen gets when she’s not getting the attention she deserves so she was all like…

Toodles, J-Bird!

Toodles, Bong-Boy!

             “Whatever, John. Later, dude!” and I’ll bet John toked-it-up when he got the dump truck and he’s probably been on a maryjane bender ever since, huffin’ and puffin’ his heartache away and I guarantee he woke up one day and realized the best thing he ever had slipped through his guitar-pickin’ fingers and went up in reefer smoke and then I’ll bet he decided it was time to straighten up and put those naz doobies down cuz I mean come on, Jen?!!! He had Rachel (eat your heart out, Ross), and he let her slip away!

    Johnnie Boy, we’re talking Jen!!!! Hey, I’ll bet even Brad make Angelia wear a Jen rubber mask sometimes. No disrespect, Angie, but I mean, Jen!!!!!!!!!! 

    And you heard ’bout Madonna, right? She fell off her horsie the news said but that’s only half the story cuz the real scoopage is the accident happened while she was working to get herself another kid– but get a load of this– she was trying to buy that little girl from “Slumdog Millionaire” from the girl’s dad but some Royal Canadian Mounties heard the deal was going down and they came riding over to bust them and Madonna’s horse got all spooked and everything and threw the Material Girl to the

Oooopsie daisies!

Oooopsie daisies!

 Material World and she got all embarrassed and now is trying to blame her boo-boo on some paparazzi creepolla who was lurking in the bushes with long lenses and a guilty face. Bamm!

    And I’ve got it on very good authority Paris Hilton is thinking of upgrading her identity to Paris Ritz Carlton.

    How ’bout Paris Hampton Inn

    Bamm! You can’t make this stuff up.


    Throughout history, many love affairs have been chronicled through poetry, letters and song. In the future, we will have tracks of Twitters to detail the emotional wealth of modern day people, as told in fewer than 140 characters. What follows is the start of a love story for the ages, as told on Twitter.    

Allegory432 Had great time with you tonight. Felt so comfortable, natural. Hope you feel same. Love that restaurant!!! Great times!!! Thanks.

Pernicious41  Glad you had a great time because I did, too. Agree the restaurant is fabulous and your company made it even tastier. Darn, running out of s

Allegory432 Space limited on Twitter. Must be concise, talk in appetizer-size chunks, not main courses. LOL. Some friendly advice. See you soon?

Pernicious41 Absolutely, I’d love to see you soon. Do you like Thai? I love it, I do I do. I know a great Thai restaurant that serves the best–uh oh, no

Allegory432 Love Thai. What day? What time? Won’t eat til then. LOL

Pernicious41 Well, let’s see. Friday’s bad because I’m getting back from Boston late. Are you free Saturday? If you are free, I can pick you up at your p

Allegory432 You ran out of space again– just give me time on Sat., I’ll be ready, with track shoes on. LOL

Pernicious41 Well, let’s see. Saturday I usually go to the gym for a good workout. I have a bunch of errands to run and that’ll take time, oh no, space i

Allegory432 Just tell me what time, I’ll be ready. Time, that’s all I need– the time.

Pernicious41 O.K., you want a good time for me to come by and pick you up. No problem. Let’s see, my errands will take a couple hours, easy, oh no, not a

Allegory432 Remember, must be concise on Twitter! What time?

Pernicious41 When you’re right, you’re right. I do need to be more concise than I have been on Twitter because it seems I keep running out of space– oop

Digi Luv Cn B Crl

Digi-Luv Can Be Cruel

Allegory432 Just type the time. I’ll be ready then.

Pernicious41 Well, I suppose I could pick you up at 7:00 or so, but that might put us in prime time restaurant rush hour. Let’s see, maybe I could, ohhhh

Allegory432 I can be ready at 6. Is 6 good with you?

Pernicious41 Six in the PM? I suppose I could finish my errands, get home and shower, shave, get ready and drive on over to your place by then if that is

Allegory432 U ran outta space again. Is 6 good, OR WHAT?!!! You could just call me to discuss.

Pernicious41 Oh, I know I could call, but that technology seems so yesterday. I need to master this brave new world of Twitter and get with it because th

Allegory 432 You did it again. Are you a Twitter virgin? LOL

Pernicious41 I know I keep running out of space. The Twitter character counter keeps telling me that, but I just backtrack to a “0” count and post, it’s

Allegory 432 Can you pick me up at 6 on Sat? 

Pernicious41 Well, I think I can be to your place by six, I mean, I think I can be ready by then and get across town in traffic, I just have to see if I

Allegory432 You got clipped AGAIN! Not LOL. Are you going to pick me up at 6– yes or no, PLEASE!

Pernicious41 You know this Twittering really is something. I mean, it forces one to get to the quick of the matter, no matter what the subject. I believe

Allegory432 This wasn’t meant to be. Good luck with your life and finding the woman of your dreams.

Pernicious41 Does this mean we’re not doing Thai on Saturday? That’s a shame because I think we could have had a terrific time at that restaurant I was t